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Archive for the ‘news’ Category

The Tastiest Accident Ever

In news on November 29, 2008 at 12:19 am

(from news.bbc.co.uk)

M-WAY COVERED BY SWEETS AND BEER

Part of the M42 is shut after a six-vehicle crash sent marshmallows and beer spilling out onto the carriageway.

The northbound stretch was closed at junctions 10 and 11, near Tamworth Services, after several lorries and a van collided at about 0400 GMT.

I just love the idea of a truck full of marshmallows.

That’s not how you use a bench!

In news on August 13, 2008 at 5:36 pm

(from news.com.au)

Man’s penis stuck in park bench

A MAN is lucky to still have a penis after he stuck it in a metal park bench and became stuck, doctors say.

At least a dozen police and emergency services workers were called to the park in Hong Kong after 41-year-old Le Xing’s penis became trapped in a hole, apparently after he became aroused.

According to reports from Hong Kong, the “lonely and disturbed” Mr Xing told police he thought it would be fun to have sex with the bench, UK’s The Telegraph reported.

Unfortunately for Mr Xing, news crews descended on the park to film the rescue effort.

Doctors had tried to drain some of Mr Xing’s blood in an attempt to loosen his penis, but to no avail.

Rescuers eventually cut away part of the bench and Mr Xing was taken to hospital where doctors took another four hours to free him.

They said if Mr Xing had been stuck for another hour they would have had to amputate his penis.

ooh, you saucy minx...

ooh, you saucy minx...

Why do people keep insisting on having their way with outdoor furniture? It was only a few weeks ago that some guy was caught with a picnic table. And now it’s a park bench.

How long will it be until it’s a barbecue? A rubbish bin? Barkchips? When will this madness end?