half goon half god

Lancaster News

In Uncategorized on April 22, 2008 at 4:51 pm

As any smart traveller would, I’ve been doing a bit of research on my study destination, Lancaster, in Lancashire, UK. I’ve found that the Lancaster Guardian is the best way to go about this, as it takes on the big stories.

Teenagers climb on to City rooftop

TWO teenage boys caused a spectacle in Lancaster city centre on Wednesday afternoon when they climbed on to the roof of a building in Penny Street.

The youths, thought to be aged 15 and 16, climbed on to the roof of Inspire gym, which is above Ernest Jones jewellers, at around 3.45pm.

Police and fire crews attended the scene as crowds gathered in the streets.

Indeed, the enormity of this story meant that an update was soon required:

Youths on city centre roof: UPDATE

TWO teenage boys caused a spectacle in Lancaster city centre on Wednesday afternoon when they climbed on to the roof of a building in Penny Street.

The youths, thought to be aged 15 and 16, climbed on to the roof of Inspire gym, which is above Ernest Jones jewellers, at around 3.45pm.

Police and fire crews attended the scene as crowds gathered in the streets.

The boys had made their way down from the roof by shortly after 5pm, but were not arrested.

Ah, yes. What troubled times we live in, where teenagers climb on roofs.

I’m quite surprised, really, that Lancaster’s fine emergency services had time to deal with the ‘teenagers on roof’ scenario, when they had just as pressing a situation down at the beach:

Grandfather rescued from Bay

A 64-YEAR-OLD man had to be rescued from Morecambe Bay after becoming stuck in sand up to his knees on Wednesday afternoon.

The man had gone out into the bay off Morecambe promenade with his grandson to sail a toy yacht when he became trapped.

Fire crews used inflatable walkways to help pull the man clear before the tide came in.

But of course, you have to remember that this is the service that deal with issues of national security:

Boy stuck up tree

A NINE year old boy was rescued by firefighters after getting stuck 20 feet up a tree.

Crews from Lancaster Fire Station were called to the scene on green space off Abbeystead Drive, on the Hala estate, by a friend of the boy’s at 7pm on Wednesday.

He was helped down using a ladder.

Clearly, when news happens, it happens in Lancaster.

It’s not hard to work out why Lancaster is such a hive of activity, however. A quick look at The Lancaster & Morecambe Citizen tells you all you need to know:

Lancaster has high death rate

Lancaster has one of the highest rates of accidental deaths in the UK.

Recent studies have indicated that the accidental death rate for men in Lancaster is 37 per 100,000 compared with 22 in England and Wales.

The number of lives lost due to accidents in Lancaster was almost double the national figure for the period 2002 – 2004.

Now Lancaster Accident Prevention Partnership has launched an anonymous survey aimed at finding out where accidents are happening, to whom and why and it can be found at www.lancaster.gov.uk/accidentprevention.

I honestly can not wait to go to Lancaster.

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  1. The stuck-up-to-the-knees-in-sand story is actually more dangerous than it sounds. The quicksand in Morecambe Bay has claimed many lives over the years. The most recent tragedy being a group of illegal immigrants who were used as cheap labour to harvest shellfish. (Seriously)

  2. yeah. For shame HG2! Making fun of deadly wet sand. What is there where you come from, huh? Just poisonous snakes, bushfires, bodies in barrels, poisonous spiders, Irwin killing rays, Ross River Fever, sharp rocks, falling from cliffs, being run over, kids with knives, getting shot at outside Heaven2, Bikers, food poisoning, breaking your neck on shallow sand bars, jellyfish, the searing heat, the freezing cold, sharks, cancer, dingoes and drop bears.

    Good luck in Deadly Wet Sand Lancaster.

  3. Honest, it sounds silly, but it’s true!
    Lancaster is great, I’m a student there and am soo glad its not as dramatic as other cities, but close enough so that you can nip to manchester for the high life if you so wish!

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