half goon half god

The Seal Thing

In Uncategorized on November 16, 2007 at 11:19 am

At David Jones, we have the Magic Cave. This is where kids come to meet Santa, go on rides, eat a shitload of popcorn and fairy floss, then throw a tantrum. It’s a wonderful place and I’m incredibly glad that I don’t work in there.

The Magic Cave is advertised with a picture of a bunch of animals with Santa. They’re your usual bunch of creatures – a deer, a polar bear, an arctic fox, and a fairy (which isn’t an animal, I guess). And then there’s this guy:

Seal Thing

On first look, you think ‘okay, yeah, that’s a seal’. And then you look at its legs. SEALS DON’T HAVE LEGS! I don’t know what the story is with this bastard creature, but it’s terribly disturbing. It’s a seal, but with the legs of some sort of sea bird. The fact that it’s also wearing a miner’s hat is also strange, but it’s the legs I’m most concerned about. Why are David Jones advertising a friendly childrens’ Christmas attraction with the result of bizarre genetic experiments? WHY?

  1. Haha, that guy just really shouldn’t be.

    I bet they thought it’d just slip past us.. sneaky..

  2. His flippers are strangely winglike too! Natty waistcoat though.

  3. He’s been in an accident and this was the only available bottom piece in South Pole Veterinary Hospital! He needs understanding not judgment.

    Having said that, what a freak.

  4. whenever it gets to Christmas, I know I always think freakish mutant seals.

  5. I reckon it’s a mutant penguin

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