Last week, it was amusing multi-legged animals. This week, it’s amusing penis injuries!
WOMAN SETS FIRE TO EX-HUSBAND’S PENIS
From correspondents in Moscow
August 22, 2007 07:01pm
A WOMAN set fire to her ex-husband’s penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said today.
Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was “difficult to predict”.
The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation.
The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat, something common in Russia where property costs are very high.
“It was monstrously painful,” the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper.
“I was burning like a torch. I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”
Oh… Those Russians!
Now, I don’t care how bad the relationship is, or how difficult it may be to live with your ex-spouse, THERE IS STILL NO REASON TO SET FIRE TO THE OTHER PERSON’S GENITALS!
I am, however, left wondering as to how she set him on fire… Did she use the vodka as some sort of incendiary liquid, or did she just throw a lit match into his lap and hope for the best? Or was the blaze restricted to his penis? If so, I’m even more intrigued. Because that would take a little more effort to set on fire than the entire region. The possibilities for a crotchblaze are endless!
In any case, my heart goes out to you, torchcocked Russian man. I don’t know what you did to deserve it either. Because I was and am in no way involved in your particular situation or the ensuing police investigation.