Enough cocks, let’s talk sausages!
BOY IN COURT FOR THROWING COCKTAIL SAUSAGE
A 12-YEAR-OLD British boy appeared in court charged with assault for throwing a sausage at a pensioner, police said.
The boy’s mother described the decision to charge her son as “an absolute joke”, although police said they had no choice.
The youth, who can’t be named, was arrested after a 74-year-old man reported him to police for throwing a stone in Manchester, northern England.
The object turned out to be a cocktail sausage.
“Charging was the only option because the boy had previously been issued with three reprimands on separate occasions,” a Greater Manchester Police spokeswoman said.
Police and prosecutors have launched a joint review of the case after a judge at Manchester Youth Court reportedly urged them to reconsider.
“If he has done what was suggested it is very bad behaviour,” District Judge Tim Devas was reported as saying in the Manchester Evening News.
“But is it in the public interest to prosecute a 12-year-old boy who threw a sausage?”
The boy’s mother said her son was worried he might be sent to prison.
“So… What are you in for?”
“I killed a man with my bare hands in front of a copper. What about you?”
“erm… I threw a sausage at an old man…”
I propose a ban on all processed meat to stop this kind of violence in our streets. If we let it continue, nobody will be safe from spam bandits, sausage-link stranglers, or the threat of finding your car plastered with that weird meat that’s dyed to look like a smiley face.
There’s also the threat of it escalating into gourmet attacks, with young hooligans clobbering people over the head with 2 foot sticks of Hungarian blue ribbon salami, and their homes being ransacked by thieves wielding legs of champagne ham.
The message is simple: