half goon half god

Dwarf’s Penis Stuck to Vacuum

In Uncategorized on August 21, 2007 at 10:39 pm

This is hands-down the week’s best headline. Possibly even the year’s best headline:

DWARF’S PENIS STUCK TO VACCUM

A DWARF performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

Daniel Blackner, or Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf, was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.

The main part of his act was for him to appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member with a special apparatus.

The attachment broke before the performance and Mr Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.

He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and … hospitalisation.

“It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me,” Mr Blackner said.

“I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short-lived.”

(from news.com.au)

May I be the first to say…

wait for it…

THAT’S GOTTA SUCK!

I laughed way too much at ‘the embarrassment was short lived’ 🙂

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  1. there has got to be a movie in this somewhere.

    in the very least, a telemovie

  2. Wow, might i say thats very low, even for your standars, but brilliant story anyway…
    why would you want to be the first to say that 😛

    halfgoon: very low! Haha!

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