half goon half god

The Tale of Creepy Guy

In Uncategorized on July 16, 2007 at 2:45 pm

There’s this creepy guy at work now. He tries to be all freaky and crazy, but just comes off as a massive tool.

On my first encounter with him, I asked him what he does outside of work. In a voice that could only be described as a cross between valley girl and stereotypical gay, he replied “Oh, I don’t do conventional human stuff”.

“Riiight… So, what do you do, then?”

To spare you the agony of the ensuing explanation, yeah, turns out he’s trying to make music, and is learning French. Totally out of the conventional human realm.

In a previous discussion with a co-worker (who isn’t at all fond of creepy guy), I’d already discovered that creepy guy is into emo, which is actually a bit of a surprise, seeing as he looks like he should be in a musical.

When I first heard about creepy guy, I took it all with a grain of salt. Maybe people were just overreacting. Maybe they had ulterior motives. Maybe it was just because he was new. Even after my first meeting with him, I thought that it could just be that he’s horribly misguided in trying to impress.

That was until he came into the homewares reserve brandishing a stanley knife…

“Hi, er, could I borrow you for a minute?”

“Yeah, what for?”

[Holding knife up, blade extended] “I have plans.

“… And what might they be?”

“Oh… I just need help moving a pallet.”

So I help him move the pallet. As we lift it up, he says to me “Don’t worry… I’m not really sadistic… Well, not much”

“Oh, that’s good.” I say. I then let him wheel the pallet away before just about collapsing in a fit of laughter. It was probably the worst attempt at being edgy that I have ever witnessed. What’s worse is that he thought he’d freaked me out, as he apologised for it afterwards, saying that he realised it have have been offensive. What the Christ?

Creepy guy seems to have a thing for knives. It wasn’t much later that he entered the elevator I was in, pulled out his knife, and proceeded to slash at a cardboard box for a bit. He then left, without saying a word.

He’s also known for staring at people. The aforementioned co-worker didn’t like creepy guy because of his insistence n staring at her. He’d stand there, just staring, until she’d ask him what he was doing. In other words, he’s an attention seeker. I experienced this on Thursday. As I was messing around with stuff in my locker, I saw him hovering about a metre away to my left. He was also holding his hand over his left eye. Once I was done with my locker, I looked up;


“Nothing. Hahahaha!”


It seems like he’s decided that he has to act totally weird to be thought of as weird. Unfortunately, he’s apparently also decided that he needs to tell people he’s weird. On Wednesday, there were about 4 people standing around and talking. Creepy guy came over and stared. So one guy asked “You alright?”

“No, I’m not alright. I have problems.”

Yeah, you’re so weird that it’s neccessary to tell people so they notice.

He’s on myspace. I am not surprised in the slightest.

  1. he doesn’t happen to wear a Wiggles back pack does he?

    He makes music!? Awesome. Ask him for a demo CD. Then tell him you listen to Sausage Boy, because he sounds “Like gay people if they were straight, but with less rainbow techno thrown in”

  2. … maybe he used to work as a Channel 9 executive 😀

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