half goon half god

Archive for December, 2006|Monthly archive page

A Meme (stolen from Grace)

In Uncategorized on December 31, 2006 at 4:00 am

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?
Went to Uni. Travelled alone.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I can’t remember if I made any resolutions or not. I’ll probably forget any more I make, so I won’t bother.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not to my knowledge.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. Chad. My cousin’s husband. A great bloke.

5. What countries did you visit?

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
A point.

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I forget most dates. That week in July when I finally got out of Adelaide and into Melbourne was pretty good, though. I forget what the date was.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting through Uni with minimal harm.

9. What was your biggest failure?
The 2 subjects I had to do for the marketing bit of my degree. I ballsed them up real nice.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had a cold at some point… Other than that, no.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my iPods. Both of them. (Also tickets out of Adelaide)

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Mine. I’m pretty awesome most of the time.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My brother’s (for reasons I won’t specify)

14. Where did most of your money go?
CDs, books, DVDs, iTunes Music Store, Subway.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
Sukie in the Graveyard – Belle & Sebastian

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?

b) thinner or fatter?
I think I’ve pretty much evened out. Got thinner (marginally) from work, then put it back on during Uni.

c) richer or poorer?
Richer (marginally – see Q.14)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Uni study and sleep

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Complaining, eating.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With the family. Same as always.

21. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Not exactly.

23. How many one-night stands?

24. What was your favourite TV program?
Thank God You’re Here.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

26. What was the best book you read?
Belle & Sebastian – Just A Modern Rock Story by Paul Whitelaw

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Boy Least Likely To

28. What did you want and get?
A trip to Melbourne (and I got TWO!)

29. What did you want and not get?
Stuff that would cost lots and lots. Like a house near civilisation. Maybe this year.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Casino Royale (Pretty much by default, but I did really enjoy it)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I handed in an assignment and went to work. I was 20. Woopee.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Moving out.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Non-existant. Wore whatever was in the wardrobe.

34. What kept you sane?
my iPod constantly glued to my ears (via headphones and wire)

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Patience from The Grates. Cute and bouncy. That’s about all my reasoning came up with.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Annoying people wanting retail stores open on public holidays. If that’s a political issue. I like to have days off, and peoples’ reasoning for deregulation of hours were really quite pathetic.

37. Who did you miss?
I don’t think I really missed anyone… Grace not being on MSN so much was weird, but.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Tez. Definitely.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
I haven’t learnt a freaking thing. Still as clueless as I was last year.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I’m happy because I’m stupid, scared of spiders, scared of flying. If I wasn’t so happy, I wouldn’t be so scared of dying – ‘Be Gentle With Me – The Boy Least Likely To.

NYE 2006

In Uncategorized on December 30, 2006 at 10:38 pm

Well, that’s another year down. I can’t be arsed writing anything incredible tonight because today was a complete bastard and I’m too hungry to think. I write total rubbish anyway, so I think it’s best that I keep my mouth shut (or fingers tied up in mittens)

I might just make do with some ‘Top 10’ lists or something. Easier. And I like lists.

Happy New Year, peeps!

I got things!

In Uncategorized on December 25, 2006 at 3:42 pm

is it just me, or is everything shit?cat o' nine talesbill brysonsan sombrero
monty python's personal besthappy tree friends

Merry Christmas!

In Uncategorized on December 24, 2006 at 8:48 pm

I got a whole bunch of stuff. Hope everyone else did too. Because the true spirit of Christmas is the spirit of greed, consumerism and debt. Hurrah!

Merry Christmas, peeps!

Virgin Lizard Birth

In Uncategorized on December 21, 2006 at 12:17 am

(from http://www.news.com.au)

Virgin lizard birth at Christmas
From correspondents in Paris
December 21, 2006 07:11am

BRITISH zoologists have a Christmas tale of their own to tell – a rare giant lizard, the Komodo dragon, is about to give “virgin birth”.

In a study published in the science journal Nature, they say they have unravelled a mystery surrounding a Komodo dragon named Flora, one of two dragons at Chester Zoo, northern England.

Flora laid 11 eggs in May this year, three of which collapsed. These three eggs were opened and were found to contain embryos, showing they had been fertilised.

But who was the daddy? Flora had never mated with a male dragon or even mixed with one.

DNA tests have now proven that Flora was both the “mother” and “father” of the fertile eggs.

“Although other lizard species are known to be able to self-fertilise, this is the first time this has ever been reported in Komodo dragons,” says one of the co-authors of the paper, Kevin Buley, who is the zoo’s curator of lower vertebrates and invertebrates.

“Essentially, what we have here is an immaculate conception, and because the eggs were laid back in May, it is not beyond the realms of possibility that the incubating eggs could hatch around Christmas time.

“We will be on the lookout for shepherds, wise men and an unusually bright star in the sky over Chester Zoo,” he added in a wry reference to the biblical account of Christ’s birth.

Self-fertilisation in this way is called parthenogenesis. Under it, the species makes a copy of its own genetic code.

Zoologists at Thoiry Zoo, west of Paris, announced in April they suspected parthenogenesis was behind the birth of four baby dragons to a female called Sungai.

Sungai normally lives at Thoiry but was sent to London to mate with a male dragon there under a European breeding program.

The Komodo dragon (Varanus komodoensis) is the world’s biggest lizard, with adult males reaching up to three metres long and weighing up to 90 kilos.

The creature is carnivorous, killing goats, deer and other mammals through deadly bacteria in its saliva.

The dragon ambushes and bites its prey and then tracks it for up to two days until it eventually dies from blood poisoning.

The dragon is found on the Indonesian islands of Komodo, Rinca, Gili Motang and Flores, but its numbers have dwindled to around 6000 as a result of poaching and invasive species.

Mr Buley said the discovery had important implications for understanding how the lizard is able to colonise new areas.

“Theoretically, a female Komodo dragon in the wild could swim to a new island and then establish an entirely new population of dragons,” he said.

“The genetics of self-fertilisation in lizards means that all her hatchlings would have to be male.

This would grow up to mate with their own mother and therefore, within one generation, there would potentially be a population able to reproduce normally on the new island.”

Lead author of the Nature paper is Phillip Watts of Britain’s University of Liverpool.

…so does this mean that Jesus was a Komodo dragon? It sure would explain all that stable business..

“Please, mister innkeeper, my wife’s about to give birth, and we’ve ridden all the way here on a donkey, and it’s almost Christmas!

“Bugger off, you’re a Komodo dragon for freak’s sake! You’ll scare all my guests away! And you didn’t ride that donkey, you dragged it here!”

“I didn’t!”

“You did! I saw you! It was in your bloody great gob!”

“Mary here was on top of it”

“That’s a completely different thing. Riding a donkey implies that the donkey propelled itself with somebody on its back giving it some degree of direction. I’ll tell you what you did – you bit its neck off, sat your wife on it, and tugged it along the ground by its ears!”

“I told you it looked easier in the movies, Mary…”

“Arrrgh! Here comes an egg!”

“Oh christ… Can you help us or not?”

“Not with all them eggs knocking about… Where’d she hide them?”

“I dunno. They’re not even mine… Wow, they just keep coming… Incredible…”

“Tell you what – I’ll let you stay in the barn. Just stay away from my horses. And no guests!”

“Fine, fine… Come on Mary… No, I’m not carrying them for you! They’re your damn eggs! Carry them yourself… Oh, now look what you’ve done… It’s all over the place! Do you have any more?

“Just this one”

“Good. I’d be incredibly pissed off we came all this way just to spill your eggs all over the place… Now, if they’re not mine, whose are they”

“Er… Joe, I have something to tell you…”

(And so began the life of Jesus, King of the Dragons!)

Geeks + Violence

In Uncategorized on December 20, 2006 at 10:18 pm

I had a weird dream last night.

It started off with me in some bizarre sort of field, but a field that had a large Uni campus. This campus happened to sell Nintendo Gameboy DS. However, to reach the small store where they were sold, you had to go up a tower and traverse scaffolding. I guess it was kind of like a video game, where you have to climb really high on a rickety path and not fall over the edge.

So I’m going up this scaffolding around the tower, and I’m wearing my Slaqwear shoes, and there’s Asian kids everywhere playing on their Gameboys, and they’re not getting out of my way. Because I’m wearing these particular shoes, everytime the scaffolding goes down, I start slipping and almost falling through the barriers on the edge. The Asian kids still don’t get out of my way. It’s really quite precarious!

I eventually get inside, grab a DS, and get out. I don’t think I actually pay for it, though.

The dream then skips to inside a car. I’m in there with 3 other people. but I don’t recognise them. I open the box, going ‘Yeah, it only cost $99!’ (Despite not paying at all), and someone else goes ‘Wow! $99’s a great price!’ Then I realise that the Gameboy is shaped like a Pokemon, and I’m sadly disappointed.

Another skip in location – this time, I’m still in the car, but parked in a dark, Mexican-themed alleyway, and watching the entrance to a small computer shop. There is a small number of people hangng around the door. It’s explained by one of the other people in the car that the new edition of Mac OS X is to be released at midnight. Then somebody’s head turns, and sees the door is open. The small crowd rushes the doors, and more people emerge from the shadows. A couple of blokes find another doorway, and run in through there. And this is where it turns nasty.

Skinheads pour out the new door, and start smashing people. It’s chaos! People and cars are flying everywhere, there’s flames, there’s shattering glass, it’s mental. The driver of the car I’m in gets out, and yells at the skinheads “Oy! Why don’t you smash more glass, you dickheads!” That gains their attention, and they rush the car. The driver jumps back in and we speed off into a square (again, Mexican themed). That’s when the skinheads manage to punch their way through the roof and attack the driver.

I woke up at this point. Pity, really. I woke up because Dad was clearing leaves out of the gutter. AT 5.50AM! wtf?

The Quangle Wangle’s Hat

In Uncategorized on December 18, 2006 at 7:12 pm

I loved this poem when I was a kid. It’s complete nonsense.


by Edward Lear


On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat.
For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,
With ribbons and bibbons on every side,
And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,
So that nobody ever could see the face
Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.


The Quangle Wangle said
To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,
“Jam, and jelly, and bread
Are the best of food for me!
But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree
The plainer than ever it seems to me
That very few people come this way
And that life on the whole is far from gay!”
Said the Quangle Wangle Quee.


But there came to the Crumpetty Tree
Mr. and Mrs. Canary;
And they said, “Did ever you see
Any spot so charmingly airy?
May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?
Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
O please let us come and build a nest
Of whatever material suits you best,
Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!”


And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree
Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl;
The Snail and the Bumble-Bee,
The Frog and the Fimble Fowl
(The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg);
And all of them said, “We humbly beg
We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,–
Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!”


And the Golden Grouse came there,
And the Pobble who has no toes,
And the small Olympian bear,
And the Dong with a luminous nose.
And the Blue Baboon who played the flute,
And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,
And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,–
All came and built on the lovely Hat
Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.


And the Quangle Wangle said
To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,
“When all these creatures move
What a wonderful noise there’ll be!”
And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon
They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon,
On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree,
And all were as happy as happy could be,
With the Quangle Wangle Quee.

I’m From Barcelona

In Uncategorized on December 18, 2006 at 3:30 pm

To get ready for my new iPod, I’ve been downloading some videos. I’ll get cracking on getting some off DVDs as well, at some point, but buying and downloading is so much easier. So far I’ve got Science Is Golden by The Grates, and We’re From Barcelona and Collection Of Stamps by I’m From Barcelona. This band astounds me in the sheer bizarreness of its members, which I shall explain in picture form. (Click images to enlarge)

This is the lead singer

And here’s some of his chums:

The weird imbalance between cute girls and creepy blokes is a feature of this band, as evidenced here:

And also here:

Note the thinning mullet on Mr Librarian:

I pronounce thee; Smug Beardy!

We don’t know about the others, but it’s still 1982 for us!

iPod Delivery

In Uncategorized on December 18, 2006 at 3:17 pm

Yeah, so I’ve bought a new iPod. It’s white, with 80Gb, and it’s engraved. I bought it from the Apple Store, so it’s been delivered by TNT. And that’s caused serious headaches for me.

Apparently, according to Apple, post offices aren’t secure enough. So they don’t let you use a PO box for delivery. Pity, then, that they allow you to use a PO box for invoicing, then say ‘do you want to use this for delivery as well?’ Of course I do. That’s my address.

So I check the order through TNT on Saturday, and it’s saying ‘address incomplete/incorrect/missing’. Because they don’t like PO boxes. And I had to wait until Monday to fix it, because they didn’t contact me at all. When an address is incorrect, aren’t they supposed to contact you to get another one or something? Not just go ‘oh, we can’t deliver that… Let’s deliver another one, yeah?’ If it wasn’t for internet tracking, I wouldn’t have a clue what was happening with it.

I ring them on Monday, and get them to change the address to Mum’s work, seeing as there’s no way they could deliver it here – we have no street number. ‘Sure’, they say. ‘It should be delivered tomorrow’. I tell them that this is fine, because Mum won’t be at work today, but she will be there tomorrow.

I check the tracking status on Monday night… ‘Dec 18, 23:59 – Receiver on holiday‘. I tell them she’s not going to be there, they tell me it will be delivered on Tuesday, and they deliver it on Monday! Grr!

I had to ring them again this morning. I went through two departments before I got somebody who could help. She was very friendly, and was worried that the address might not have been authorised or that Mum wouldn’t be able to sign for it. I finished up the call at about 9.15.

At 10, I got a call from Mum – my iPod had arrived. Crisis over. But now I have to wait until Mum gets home to play with my new gadget.

Snippets of Life

In Uncategorized on December 16, 2006 at 4:40 am

* I just had a look at my blog stats. Somebody got here via a search for ‘gold sculptures’. I honestly don’t know how that happened. I searched it myself and had no luck finding me. Maybe I’m hiding.

* I’ve made my very first full album purchase from the iTunes Music Store. The lucky album was Kimono My House by Sparks. It’s awesome.

* Gesturing towards the kitchenware compactors, one of the cleaners at work asked me, “Oh, is kitchenware in here as well?” “Yes”, I replied. “Huh, I never knew that!” she said… Well, to be honest, it’s not exactly a job requirement for her, is it…